Is "White House Communications Director" Officially The New "Lions Head Coach"?
The Former White House Communications Director is the Former Lions Head Coach? That can't be right.
In Detroit, head coaches are well aware that the turnover rate directly affects the turnover rate. In Washington D.C., the recipe for success as White House Communications Director is even more of a mystery. But don't take my word for it, just ask Mooch here:
Steve "Mooch" Mariucci tells his team to "Go for one" following a Lions TD. I think. That could also be interpreted as 1+1=2, and it's also the motion that indicates a successful FG attempt. None of this makes sense...but if nothing makes sense then...Correction: Anthony "Mooch" Scaramucci speaks to reporters about a putt he saw Trump sink at Mar-a-Lago.
If you Google "mooch" in 2 years, what will the first result be: Former Lions Head Coach Steve Mariucci, or former White House Communications Director Anthony Scaramucci? Only time will tell whether the former's 9 year NFL head coaching career and subsequent TV analyst position prove more significant than the latter's 11 days as Press Secretary for Trump's White House...and subsequent TV analyst position.
Report: Mooch already in talks with John Fox News Channel about potential analyst position...damnit that's Mariucci, isn't it?
Lions GM Matt Millen may be the only man in the 21st century with a lower job approval rating than former New Jersey Generals team owner, Donald J. Trump. Both Mooches came into the job with plenty of buzz and high expectations, only to see them crumble in the national spotlight.
Mooch confers with Lions long snapper Don Muhlbach (L).
Mooch pictured again along side Lions long snapper Don Muhlbach ( L).
And as with any good article about a question without an answer, we'd like to put it to a read poll:
If you Google "Mooch" in 2 years, who will return the #1 search result?
A) Anthony "Mooch" Scaramucci
B) Steve "Mooch" Mariucci
...Now, to atone for the inevitable lack of a satisfactory ending to an article about Mooches, we threw in a couple more Lions head coaches and their political equivalents:
A federal judge has ordered former Lions head coach Jim Schwartz to pay royalties to Howard Dean for every berzerk fist pump he performed on the Detroit sideline between 2009 and 2013.
If Mooch's counterpart is Mooch, then Jim Schwartz is clearly...Howard Dean.
"And were gonna beat New York, and Arizona, and Minnesota... And then were gonna beat Washington, byaaaaaaaw!"
But for my money, Jim Caldwell does it better than both of them...
And Widesnapper.com will pay a billion rubles to anyone who has seen Steve Bannon and Wayne Fontes in the same room. Ok, that's not fair to Cocaine Wayne, but it certainly appears they go to the same day spa...
Byaaaaaah!!!
